Come on lads, let's get home. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. It has voodoo qualities. I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. Marwood: [with his mouth full] Will we never be set free? This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. An expert on bulls you are not! And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Monty: So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. Have you been at the controls? Withnail: Im in a park and Im practically dead. I can't. Monty: Marwood: [relieved] Monty! Withnail. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! You got a rush. Isaac Parkin: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Marwood: [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. Monty: Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. [after a phone call with his agent] Parkin's been. Withnail: You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing. It features Paul Heller as producer, Lord David Dundas, and Rick Wentworth in charge of musical score, and Peter Hannan as head of cinematography. I don't care where you come from! Talk:Withnail and I. The beauty of the world. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. 1 comment. Withnail: Withnail is cowering under the covers]. [reading the note] Withnail: Ive told you why. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin! Withnail: Withnail: I recommend you smoke some more grass. You're looking very beautiful, man. He gags and gasps]. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. [whispering] Please, let's go. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! A coward you are, Withnail! Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Marwood: Get out of it for a while. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Withnail & I (1987) clip with quote "Here hare, here." Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Withnail: Youre not in the same boat. [during dinner] Sherry? I feel like a pig shat in my head. Hello? Marwood: "I f*** arses"? [offering Monty a glass] 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. You want working on, boy! [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. Prostitutes for the bees. Marwood: No, no, you can't. Raymond Duck. Because I want to walk you to the station. I do. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Withnail: It's obsessed with its gut. Eat some cake. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? I was merely making an observation. Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. Monty: Withnail: We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch I hope you guys like our collection. What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Marwood: You've got a rush. [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. [toasting with a drink] If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. I've told you why. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! Marwood: We're in this cottage here. This thread is archived. [spits onto the ground] The cottage. A little before your time. Add spice to it. the web and also on Android and iOS. Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! Add spice to it. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores. How dare you call me inhumane?! Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. What happened to my cigar commercial? Politics, man. Monty: Oh, Oxford Marwood: : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. He's lent us his cottage. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! He's going into your room. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Get that damned little swine out of here! You have made it high. Marwood: This *is* the morning. [cockily] I'm utterly arseholed. We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. Hare. Marwood: What do you want? I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Marwood: They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. Withnail: Where is he? What a piece of work is a man. The meaning dawns on him. Something's got to be done. Got a bit carried away. Monty: Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! How like a god! Change down, man. My thumbs have gone weird! How like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Balls! 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this. Withnail: Scrubbers! It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. Man delights not me. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. You've got soup. You got a rush. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! by Anonymous: . DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! Danny: Irishman: Danny: Listen to me, listen to me! Marwood: His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] ""Here. [as Marwood walks past him] *Scrubbers*! Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Withnail: I feel unusual. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] Monty: Stop saying that, Withnail! [holding him back] There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot. Withnail: And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail: Listen to me, listen to me! Danny: Your desires. Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Withnail: Calm down. Change down, man, find your neutral space. Eggs and things. My brain's capsizing. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. What's going on? Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. What on Earth are those? I'm good looking. We mean no harm! Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" quotes duty call warfare modern war. Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? How can it be so cold in here? Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Sod your pheasants! I'm starving. Offer him yourself. Withnail: Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. Withnail: It's ridiculous. What the fuck are you talking about? Withnail: Why can't I have an audition? It's ridiculous. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! Withnail: Flowers are essentially tarts. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. I think a drink, don't you? An expert on bulls you are not! I'm good-looking. Something's got to be done. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. I feel unusual. Web. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. Marwood: Find the exact We've got to get some booze. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. You're not in the same boat. This is a court, man. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Monty: It'll happen. I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail: Withnail: Rejuvenate! withnail. I'm gonna be a star*! [he picks up the kettle on the stove. That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. You needn't explain, he's told me everything. You love him. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! What's your name, MacFuck? 4 Mar. I adore you. He's building the prototype now. [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Monty: Stop saying that! Flowers are essentially tarts. Withnail: Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! [voiceover] I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. Quotes.net. I'll swallow it and run a mile! We'll be back. This is ridiculous. Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Danny: I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Marwood: Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie, ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck, Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood, Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce, Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid, he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Don't be ridiculous. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Hello? You lose, you gain. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. How infinite in faculties! Had a weight under his fez. You merely imagined it. I can't take aspirins without a drink. Burnt! You got to throttle him. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Why can't I have an audition? [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: Withnail: How should I know where we are? The best GIFs are on GIPHY. [about Danny] Ponce! Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news! Shut that gate and keep it shut! Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. One of us has got to stay on guard. Reflecting these times. Withnail: This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Marwood: The thermostats. Monty: Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Uncle Monty: Go with it. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. I'm not gonna understudy anybody. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. It's all your fault. [clearly drunk] Policeman 2: First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. How noble in reason! They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! It's wearing a yellow sock. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. How can it be so cold in here? Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] Bates novel I'd read. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. [pointing an eel at him] He's a madman. If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Look at that, accident black spot! Withnail: I could hardly piss straight with fear. Be seated. This is a far superior drink to meths. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. That's worse than meths! It can utilise up to 12 skins. Well, I'd hardly say that. Marwood: It's society's crime, not ours. "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! Jake: Change down, man. We want them here and we want them now! What's in your hump? Prostitutes for the bees. Withnail: Jake: We've gone on holiday by mistake. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! Marwood: If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. [eyes filling with tears] I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! It's like Greenland in here. Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Sophocles. [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. I have a heart condition. What a piece of work is a man! ", Oh! Withnail: But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." Marwood: I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. Withnail: Withnail: You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Withnail: If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. The bastard's about to run at me! I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. London is a country coming down from its trip. Withnail: I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. Afrika Korps. The beauty of the world! Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. Monty: We can't go on like this. He went to the other place, Monty. Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Withnail: We're doing a feature for Country Life. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Quite freaked me at the time. There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. Oh, Baudelaire. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. Oh, you little traitors. Flowers are essentially tarts. Yes, you are! A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. God fulfils himself in many ways. This doesn't go down at all well. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! Here, I dont want it. Jesus Christ. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Monty: And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Give me a downer, Danny. Withnail and I completed its run in 1970. Got busted coming back through Heathrow. There can be no true beauty without decay. [holding umbrella in rain] [calmly] Tea Shop Proprietor: Half an hour? Marwood: Suits me. You'll have to find us first. How dare you! [casually lighting a cigarette] . It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. My wife is having a baby. Look here, my cousin's a QC! Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? Withnail: Withnail: Stop saying that! You little thug! There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Don't you agree? Hey, show no fear! You're not leaving me in here alone. And we want them here, and we want them now! Why don't you go back? She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. Withnail: That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Withnail: Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. General: We want the finest wines available to humanity. No need to get uptight, man. An expert on bulls you are not! [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] No, he'd like a bit of pleading. I expect they're dead down the drain. Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? I don't know what's in here. I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. Marwood: Tactical necessity. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Withnail: Look at this; accident blackspot? This doesn't go down at all well. We're working on a film up here. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. tags: humour, withnail-i. Withnail: And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! This huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Danny: I'll sleep here. Withnail: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present. Yes, we'll buy this place and we'll install a fucking jukebox in here and liven all you stiffs up a bit! 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. The carrot has mystery. I've only had a few ales. It'll pass. Withnail: You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Monty: withnail and i 96119 GIFs. Ponce! Danny's here. It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. That's what you say. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. You been away? Withnail: Danny: [leaning out the car window] [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. 2023. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. you little traitors. Withnail: Look at my tongue. Withnail: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum! You don't deserve such loyalty. We do it wrong, being so majestical. report. Just you wait! Marwood: *I'll show the lot of you*! Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. All right here? Withnail and I Quotes. Withnail: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. You won't keep us anywhere. Jesus, look at that. Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. Monty: Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". [getting up at the same time] Withnail: Tactical necessity. What are you talking about, Danny? Marwood: Right can anybody explain the here hare here joke from withnail and I? [reading a newspaper] Withnail: Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub.
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